NASCAR - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby

So, I finally got to see Talledega Nights - The Ballad of Ricky Bobby last night with my wife. Great flick! I think I have yet to see a Will Farrell film I didn't love. The jokes were great and, let's be honest, the spoof was dead on about a whole host of NASCAR steretypes: over-promotion of sponsors, religion being a part of everything they do, hot, blonde wives that don't work. Great stuff. I've read online a number of people who were actually offended by this movie. These days, nothing surprises me as too many people are overly sensitive about just about everything in life. It's kinda sad. People thought making fun of Jesus was insulting. Give it a rest. The movie was designed to be a SPOOF, people! Get over yourselves.

One problem I had with the movie, though, was perhaps the most ironic thing about it: the overpromotion. The writers did a fantastic job making fun of the sponsor whores drivers have to be this day and age. (Think I'm kidding? Take a look at Tony Stewart after a long, hot race. What's the first thing any normal human being would drink after getting out of their race car? A ton of water or something like Gatorade. Tony? He's drinking a Coke, which is full of caffeine...which leads to dehydration.) So, this movie was spot on. However, we've seen soooooo many commercials that many of the funny parts simply weren't funny anymore. The first time I saw a promo of the film early this year, I just about pissed my pants laughing during the scene where Farrell thinks he's on fire. Hysterical! The 100th time? Not so funny. So, there were a few downers throughout.

Big props to Junior and Jamie McMurray for stepping up and being a prt of the film - unlike the tightwads like Jeff Gordon who thought the humor was too over the top for his sponsors. Unbelievable.

NASCAR - No Bang-Ups at Bristol

Did we all watch the same race, or was I dreaming that I saw a tame night race at Bristol on Saturday?? You gotta be kidding me! I'm beginning to think NASCAR drivers are wussing out in light of the Race for the Chase. Matt Kenseth and Kevin Harvick racing cleanly for the top spot?? No, it must have been a nightmare and there really were 20 cautions and 5 multi-car wrecks. There just had to be.

Alright, all kidding aside, what a yawner of a race on Saturday, huh? Really. I thought we'd have a dramatic race the week before heading out to the snoozer track at California this weekend. But it was not to be. Matt Kenseth and his team are on a tear. It's impressive. I still can't believe he's not in the points lead, but that goes to show you what consistency can do for you (meaning Jimmie Johnson). Anyone sen Tony Stewart's luck? I think he left it somewhere. He was a complete non-factor on Saturday and barely has been for the past month. My prediction? He misses the Chase by less than 100 points.

My Tough Luck Award is a toss-up this week. Mark Martin? He had a strong car in the beginning but he lost the handling and nearly dropped OUT of the Top 10!!! He's been consistent all year and he's now in danger of not even making it. That would just plain suck. I don't know of anyone out there who doesn't want to see Mark not only make the Chase, but win the whole damn thing. Or, does the award go to Mr. Burton? C'mon. He almost gets another pole, leads a ton of laps, only to be a non-factor the last quarter of the race. I don't get it. Maybe nice guys DO finish last in NASCAR? Not that a 9th place finish stinks. But Jeff, you had the dominant car out there all night. What a downer.

On the other hand, how many people are secretly snickering that Kurt Busch has been eliminated from the Chase? You have to wonder about these guys who desperately wanted to switch teams for "better equipment" only to have a worse performance the next year. Mr. McMurray is in even worse shape. At least the past two years he was in contention. This year, he's already been eliminated. Should we take bets on where Elliot Sadler will place in 2007? I won't even talk about Mr. Mayfield...

Finally, let's talk about the one big story that the NASCAR press has practically ignored: Scott Riggs. This guy missed the Daytona 500 this year because he switched teams and didn't get in on previous year owner points. Where is he now? After a 5th place at Bristol, the guy is now 19th in overall points. That's amazing. He's been in contention in a few races, but he's been fairly consistent and has stayed out of trouble all year. I think Riggs deserves a pat on the back for kicking enough ass to pull himself up into the top 20 in driver points. Given the way things stand now, he'll have a hard time breaking past 14th. But given the veterans and talent in the standings below him, Riggs has pulled off one hell of a feat. Let's hope he continues his climb at California, where I imagine his car is going to be a ball-buster. He qualified 14th in February.

NASCAR - Good Luck, Jeremy. You'll need it!

Not that is big news or anything, but it's now "official" that Jeremy Mayfield has signed on with Bill Davis Racing for the next three years beginning with the 2007 season. Given what went down between him and Ray Evernham this season, you can't blame him for wanting out of Evernham Motorsports. but, let's be honest here. Jeremy's a moron for signing with BDR. I know, I routinely bash them, but let's take a look at that group's performance. Michaael Waltrip, while admitedly distratced with his own team preparations for next year, is having a disastrous season with BDR. He's fallen out of the Top 35 and failed to qualify for his first race (well, second, really, but he bought another car's points for Charlotte in May) in like tens years back at The Brickyard. Dave Blaney? He's sitting pretty...in 29th overall. While things change from year to year, BDR teams haven't come anywhere close to contending for a championship, much less a spot in the Cahse in who-knows-how-long. They haven't won a Nextel Cup race since 1999. Need I say more?

Odd that BDR is doing very well in the truck series, though....

So, I really wish Jeremy a lot of luck the next few years. I just wonder how long before he starts bad-mouting BDR. It's going to be painful to watch.

NASCAR - Owner Bias Against "Older" Drivers

As a racing fan, I'm becoming increasingly annoyed by what appears to be a clear, blatant bias against older drivers. And by older, I mean over 35. For the past year, people have been bitching that there is a shortage of talented drivers. Really? I think Jeff Burton said it best when he said that excuse was a bunch of BS. Let's take a look at some of the drivers who currently don't have rides in Nextel Cup: Ward Burton, Ricky Craven, Todd Bodine, Bill Lester, Boris Said. What do they all have in common? They're "old" by NASCAR standards.

Funny, because I believe it was Ward Burton who won the Daytona 500 3 years ago. Ricky Craven won a few races, including that exciting one at Darlington in 2003. His problem was that he got stuck in the 32 Tide car, which has been an underperforming team for years, regardless of who's behind the wheel. Todd Bodine, last I checked, has been kicking ass in the truck series since he got a new ride last year. Bill Lester clearly has the drive and talent. NASCAR also "clais" to support diversity. So, why isn't anyone backing that up? And I don't need to go into Boris Said's long, long list of automotive achievements. So why do none of these guys have full-time Cup rides? They're old.

Interesting thing, though, about wanting young, "marketable" drivers. Because that's clearly what today's Cup team owners want. Yet they're not all they're cracked up to be half the time. Let's take a look at some of them:

• Kyle Busch - He clearly has driving talent. No question. But he's also proven to be more immature and arrogant than his big brother Kurt. So much so that we know Kellogg's and other sponsors must have been seething every time he's done something stupid on the track - which has happened more than once.
  
• Brian Vickers - Again, good driver in good equipment. Marketable? HA! Check him out in any of his commercials or, worse, on Inside Nextel Cup, where he's been inexpliably given a full-time roll. He's got the personality of a piece of sheetrock and is a terrible interviewer. In fact, I stopped watching the show altogether because he's painful to watch.
  
• Steve Hmeil - Showed promise as a good driver. Banned for life for repeated substance abuse. Buh bye.
  
• Jamie McMurray - I really like this guy, but his inability to see Victory Lane has everyone in the sport questioning whether he has "it" or not. You can't help but root for him since he's a class act all around. But He's had as many victories in Cup as the "old" drivers I mentioned above in 4 years. He's supposedly got the best equipment in the biz...
  
• Kurt Busch - You can argue either way here - as the guy has already scored a championship. But, frankly, he's a punk and if I were a sponsor, I wouldn't sponsor him if you paid me. He's displayed litle class so far.
  
• David Stremme, Reed Sorenson, J.J. Yeley, Travis Kvapil - Who? Exactly.
  

I know no car owner wants to invest in a driver only to see the guy retire in a few years or see how skills diminish. But not putting an established, proven driver in a full-time seat to build momentum, build morale, build an experienced team, etc. is ludicrous. To be quite honest, half the "old" guys I mentioned are great marketing personalities. Hell, Boris Said has a fanatical fan base! How can you not like Bill lEster's positive attitude? What about Ward Burton's dry wit? These guys have their own appeal - and they appeal to the Baby Boomer generation, which has quite a bit of disposable income, Mr. Sponsor!

It's time for an owner with a legitimate team (not a group like BDR which can't field a competitive car for anything) to step up and give a deserving driver a ride instead of looking for a "young gun" that has yet to prove himself. We shouldn't have to rely on an "old" driver to start his own team just his "old" friends have a ride.

NASCAR - Evernham Risking All with Crocker

I'm going to state up front I don't know anyone involved with the whole Evernham/Mayfield/Crocker situation. In fact, I might be talking out of my ass since I'm not in the garage every week. However, what I do know is that Ray Evernham is treading some very dangerous waters as a result of his "personal relationship" with his development driver Erin Crocker and is risking not only his reputation, but Croker's career and reputation as well.

I'm sure "personal relationships" in NASCAR are just as nutty as they are in the rest of the world. And, Frankly, I don't care (nor should anyone) who's dating who or whatever. I couldn't care less if Kasey Khane had a harem. I couldn't care less if Jack Rousch was a womanizer and liked to play dress-up. A person's personal life is their own business. However, when it comes to a relationship between car owner and driver, we're talking a whole new ballgame.

Let's forget for now the allegations made by Jeremy Mayfield that Evernham spends too much time with Crocker and not enough time with the rest of his teams/drivers. That could be bitter apples or it could be 110% true. The issue here is perception: perception on Ray's judgement when it comes to how he treats his drivers. Crocker has been back and forth between the Busch and Craftsman truck series. She hasn't had all that much luck. She's haad quite a few wrecks and there's definitely been some resentment about her being at the track in the first place. To date, women have had a VERY hard time finding success in the NASCAR ranks for a number of reasons. A lot of it is due to petty drivers who simply have an issue racing against women.

Now, however, add in the fact that this female driver is romantically involved with her car owner. How do you think the other drivers in the field feel about that? You and I know they are wondering if she's in that car or truck because she's a talented enough driver - more than any up-and-comer out there - or because she's Ray's honey. That perception is going to follow her everywhere she goes. Since she's seen limited success, we know that answer. From here on out, as long as she's involved with Evernham Motorsports, any chance she gets as a driver will be suspect to speculation that she doesn't really deserve it. I'm not saying Ray can't separate business and pleasure, but he's a human being and that IS going to affect his decision-making at one time or another as long as he's involved with Crocker off the track. It would be the same regardless of the business - yours, mine or at AT&T. Boss/employee relationships are bad news.

The fans, the drivers, the teams and Dodge are from now on going to second guess Ray Evernham's decisions when it comes to Erin Crocker and commitment to his other drivers. Hell, I hope she is the real deal and makes it as high as Kasey Khane. I really do. It would be great to see some of these guys whine and complain about women not belonging on the track when they're getting their butts kicked by a woman driver. But until then, the perception is going to be that Erin Crocker is getting what amounts to a free ride in NASCAR and that Ray Evernham's judgement and commitment to his teams are being clouded by romance. Down the road, this could be very damaging to the entire organizzation - and Ray should know better than to risk everything he's built by being "involved" with a driver; and he should know better because he's a lot more mature than his new girlfriend.

NASCAR - Chicago Deja Vu

I've somehow undergone a big transition over the past couple of years when it comes to what type of tracks I like. I used to love the 2-mile tracks like Michigan and California. I used to despise Bristol. Now, I've pulled a 180. I'm actually looking forward to next Saturday's race in Tennessee and planning on NOT watching the race over Labor Day in California (I'd rather sleep). While Michigan isn't exactly the yawner we saw in California earlier this season, it certainly would have been close if not for the rash of blown tires and J.J. Yeley trying to wreck every car in his stable this weekend. Passing was somewhat aplenty, although you wouldn't know it since NBC seems to forget there are actually 43 cars on the track. Did they even mention Tony Stewart at all during the race until he finished third??? I swear they only focused on 5 cars the entire race. Forget about all the battles going on behind the leaders. Hey, NBC, was Bobby Labonte in the race? Derrick Cope? Brian Vickers? Kyle Petty? Dale Jarrett??? (Besides the UPS commercials, did anyone actually see the 88 car on TV yesterday? I didn't.)

I love the high speeds the NASCAR chassis hit at Michigan, but the track is SO wide that it's like watching a few cars racing on a California freeway - almost like there is no danger factor present when, for example, the IRL cars run there.

Three jeers to NASCAR for wayyyyy too many "debris cautions." I wanted to throw my remote at the TV when they threw a caution for - and I'm serious here - a piece of duct tape that was flapping on the track in front of the starter's tower. No kidding.

Tough luck for David Gilliland. This kid has had one hell of a whirlwind year - one most drivers would probably kill for. But, the Yates 2006 Bug bit him pretty hard in his first race. Let's hope he doesn't get too discouraged.

How about Elliot Sadler pulling a near upset for the pole? While I think Sadler wanted to prove a point, I'm guessing the Evernham camp finally put its nose to the grind and gave him the best car they've put together all year.

Congrats to Matt Kenseth on another victory. He and Dale Jr. certainly had the cars to beat yesterday, but Earnhardt used up his lucky charm on Saturday when he won the Busch race (which I missed completely). Methinks Junior will have a short race next Sunday if Carl Edwards has anything to say about it!

Misc. thoughts:

• Man...another top 5 for Mark Martin. He's amazingly consistent, but you have to wonder why he hasn't visited Victory lane in a long time...
  
• Busch Brothers - instead of a 1-2, they got a 39-40!
  
• Will someone please tell NBC to put Bill Weber in a closet the rest of the season? I don't know why he never bothered me before this year, but he's incredibly annoying to listen to. Let Wally do the talking and bring Alan Bestwick back in the booth.
  
• Robby Gordon 12th. Nice!
  
• Jeff Burton....this guy can't buy a break right now. Wins pole again and is one of the first ones out with a DNF.
  
• Ray Evernham is doing a lot of damage to his reputation and to his organization. But more on that in my next post later this morning.
  

Rolex Sports Car Series - Officiating Mess at The Glen

So, I was finally able to watch the final few laps of the Crown Royal 200 from last Friday. The race went unusually over, so I missed it the first go 'round on my Tivo. Anyway, great race as always. Not sure how many of you even watch the sports car series races on Speed, but if you haven't checked out the Rolex series, you're out of your mind. While this last race was an unusual one in that only the Daytona Prototypes ran (the GT class also usually runs in the same races), it only made for an even more hectic race pace. The DPs are "spec" in that the body styles are similar. But each team can choose from an array of engine and chassis packages (Lexus, Ford, Pontiac, Porsche, BMW, Etc.) The competition is varied enough that it's not boring AT ALL. Witness how insnaely quick these cars are at The Glen compared to the NASCAR piggy cars.

Every week it seems as someone is out of the championship and another is riding high. The next week, everything chanages. It's great. Although, any of you who saw what happened to the #75 Krohn Racing car last week would probably agree with the team owner that the stewards are playing games and manipulating the championship. This car was penalized for unavoidable contact. But as you could clearly see on TV, the kid didn't touch anyone. There wasn't even a mark on the car!!! To compound the situation, his teammate driving the #75 car was penalized for stepping out of line and passing before the start/finish. Um, not sure what the stewards saw, but I along with everyone else watching the race clearly saw about 10+ cars get out of line, but no one getting passed. That was some crappy officiating, folks. Absolute crap.

Meanwhile, Scott Pruett (Team Target Chip Ganassi) held off the Sun Trust team and Max Angelelli with a lap after lap battle. So, the three mentioned teams are battling it out with only two races to go (I hate the end of racing season!!).

Next race 8/27: Sonoma! Drink up!

NASCAR - Enough Whining About Busch's Penalty!

Going to make this short and sweet. It's Wednesday and I'm still reading column after column about poor Kurt Busch and the penalty he received Sunday at Watkins Glen for ducking into the pits just as the "pits closed" lights came on. To all of you thinking Kurt got a raw deal: live with it and move on! Shut up! Rules are rules, folks. I'm sorry he had one of the strongest cars on Sunday. That's the way life goes. That's why we don't call a race 10 laps in because one guy is dominant. Things change. Look, the SAME EXACT THING happened to Boris Said in Sonoma in 2005. Caution came out, he tried to get into the pits before they were closed and the light came on just before he pitted. He certainly had a car capable of winning. So why wasn't the entire NASCAR world bitching then? So, let's move on to more important discussions, like eliminating the Lucky Dog rule so someone who spends 5 laps in the garage has no chance of scoring a Top 10 they certainly don't deserve....

Rolex Sports Car Series - Almost to the end...

I was so excited to talk about the Rolex Series race at The Glen this weekend, but either I'm a dolt for not programming an extra 15 minutes on my Tivo, or Speed Channel messed up (they messed up!). The Rolex Series and other sports car series are really good at keeping on schedule - either a set amount of laps or tiem restriction; whichever comes first. I don't think I've ever missed the end of a race (before Friday) when recording one. Sure enough, my recording ended at exactly two hours, and there were 6 laps to go. Grr! So, I have to wait until at least Tuesday to talk about the race, which was great as usual.

IRL - Kentucky Blues

Have little to say about Sunday's IRL race. I don't have a dual-tuner Tivo, and since I spent most of the day installing a screen door, I had to choose that race or NASCAR at The Glen. You know which one won out, since I love Watkins Glen. Anyway, Sam Hornish won again and re-took the championship point lead for now. Danica came in 8th and Sarah Fisher came in 12th in her re-debut in IRL. Not bad.

Coming up in two weeks: IRL at Sonoma. Yeah, baby!!

NASCAR - Road Warriors

Man, what a weekend! Neither one of my picks won, but damn did they come close! Robby Gordon raced Kurt "Punk Ass" Busch good and hard to the bitter end on Saturday's Zippo 200, only to see Busch hang on for dear life and beat Robby by about a second. I don't know about any of you, but Kurt is on the same list for me as Tony Stewart, Kyle Busch and Kevin Harvick. They're all arrogant jerks...who happen to be excellent drivers. So, you can imagine how irritated I was when Busch started doing his stupid snow angel thing at the Start/Finish line after his big win Saturday. Hopefully, Robby's day will come soon. But, if you don't normally watch Busch races, you missed a hell of a contest on Saturday at Watkins Glen, that's for sure. BTW, what the hell was Kurt all bent out of shape for after the race? He said during his post-victory interview that he wouldn't use Robby Gordon as an example to young racers how to race a roaad course. Uh, are you serious, Dumbo? That was a hell of a show he put on and would have had you if not for that last late caution. Stop being such a jerk an give some of your fellow racers some props, Kurt.

My boy Boris (Who Said? Boris Said!) came home in a respectable 8th, but I was hoping he'd be in contention. Although, he did a mighty job battling back from a few spins. How cool is it that he's got this fanatical following?? NBC did a great feature on the Said Heads yesterday. They've all got wigs and now t-shirts and follow him to every race. Count me in! One report I read this morning said they could be heard chanting for him during driver introductions on Sunday. And why isn't a huge-name sponsor stepping up for his this year?? Pepsi (who owns Sobe, who sponsors Boris' Cup ride) needs to take a look at what a great marketing opportunity they are missing here. Really. You don't see any other driver with such a following, do you? No.

Which brings us to Sunday's AMD at The Glen. Given Kurt Busch won the pole for both races this weekend, I was really hoping that both he and Tony Stewart would fall on hard times and give the rest of the field a chance to win. Sure enough, Busch got hosed when he tried to duck into the pits as the caution came out and the "pits closed" light came on about 10 feet before he entered. Bam! Good bye! So, his day was done. Even more so, kharma hit Busch a few more times and by the time the race ended, his car was practically destroyed.

The racing Sunday was just as good as on Saturday. You wouldn't think guys were rcaing for points - every corner saw two or three guys fighting tooth and nail for position from start to finish, which is nice to see in NASCAR. You have to feel for some guys, like Greg Biffle, Kasey Khane and even Michael Waltrip. It seems these drivers can't buy a break and they're all having dismal seasons now because of it. How screwed up is it that Khane has four victories this season and will likely MISS the Chase? Biffle? Well, his season has had a scarlett letter on it since Daytona for some unknown reason. Waltrip...Well, he's obviously too busy building his new team to devote the time needed to his current ride and he's paying a heavy price. Of course, driving for Bill Davis racing is almost a sure way to stay out of the top 35 anyway.

NBC's broadcasts was "better" this weekend, but I just don't see how the hell they can miss nearly every wreck. They also missed a start by at least 10 seconds. The field was already at the end of the esses when the commercial break was over. C'mon, guys. Give it some effort! Of more concern, though, was how Benny Parsons is doing. He missed Saturday's race due to a sore throat and sounded awful on Sunday. I know chemotherapy does that to a person's voice, but it had an eerie similarity to Peter Jennings and how he sounded on his last broadcast a year and a hlaf ago. BP was given a supposedly good diagnosis, but that's tough when you have lung cancer. So hopefully this was just a side effect of his treatment and nothing more. Go, BP!!!

So, "Happy" Harvick wins his first road course. Again, it was nice to NOT see Jeff Gordon (did anyone even notice him during the racee, btw?), Kurt Busch, Tony Stewart, or Jimmy Johnson on the podium. But, Harvick isn't much better from a fan's perspective. He's a nice guy when things are going well, but you can't forget the way he treats other drivers when things don't go his way and he acts like a brat with poopy in his diaper. The one incident that sticks out in my mind is the Busch race in Milwaukee a couple of months ago. Harvick was behind John Menard with a few laps to go. (Mind you, Harvick has been running away with the Busch Series championship now for months, so there's no need to take people out) After a caution/restart, Harvick not only tried to spin Menard, but wreck him. It couldn't have been more blatant. Somehow Menard held on and didn't let him pass. As kharma would have it, Harvick got slammed in the rear by Clint Boyer and sent spinning into the wall. As if that wasn't bad enough, after Menard's victory, Harvick sped up to him and pinned his car against the wall to "express his displeasure." What an ass. Like Stewart, Harvick is an intense competitor but can be absolutely childish and unsportsmanlike when things go "wrong." I don't root for those guys. I just can't. Nonetheless, it IS good to see Richard Childress Racing back on top. Let's hope some of that luck rubs off on Jeff Burton. That's a guy I can root for.

Random ramblings:

• The Lucky Dog rule needs some serious fixing. It's complete BS that a guy who was OFF THE TRACK for five laps can finish in the Top 10. That's absurd. Kyle Busch was the recipient of almost every Lucky Dog pass. That's not right and it needs to be fixed before the next race, NASCAR.
  
• Three cheers for NASCAR making a point to discourage the lead car from jumping the start. Two years ago, Tony Stewart made a mockery of this race by brake-checking the field and then launching way ahead on the last 3 restarts. He was told not to pull that stunt again and no one did.
  
• What's with the super-lenghty cautions? Watkins Glen is a huge course. For a simepl spin, there's absolutely no need to have 3 or 4 laps of caution.
  
• So, Ray, was it really worth booting Jeremy Mayfield for Bill Elliot? I say a 27th place finish says no. Then again, it was probably better to cut ties and move on.
  
• How did Boris Said finish 31st?? Wasn't he scored as being in 8th? Something happened at the end with Ryan Newman and it appears NASCAR gave Newman 8th and slapped Boris back to 31st as a penalty. Did I miss something?
  

NASCAR - Watkins Glen Heaven

Although fans of strictly roundy-round racing in NASCAR despise road courses, Watkins glen remains one of my personal favorite races on the schedule. Having been there and driven the track myself, The Glen has a special place in my heart. It's one of the most amazing tracks in North America and I'm dying to get back there next year with the driving clubs I participate with.

As expected, all eyes are on four drivers this weekend: Jeff Gordon, Tony Stewart, Boris Said (GO BORIS!!!) and Robby Gordon. Every time NASCAR hits a road course, it's almost expected that Jeff or Tony will win. Jeff won earlier in Sonoma and Tony swept both races last year. However, my eyes are on the latter two extraordinary drivers. Last year, both Robby Gordon (one of my favorite drivers besides Boris) and Boris came *this* close to winning both the Busch and Cup races last year at the Glen. Gordon came in second place in both races. And Boris was right behind him. Well, both road junkies will again be competing on Saturday and Sunday, and I'm not sure who to root for. I guess Boris gets the nod, as Robby at least has a few NASCAR Nextel Cup victories under his belt. So, let's give Robby the pick for Saturday and Boris the pick for Sunday, with the other driver coming in a close second. Let's also hope that Tony doesn't make it to the end this time (ya hear that, Carl??)

Of course, the other drama playing out this weekend is the abrupt (or is it?) dismissal of Jeremy Mayfield from this week's race. This relationship has publicly gone down hill the past couple of months, and we know Jeremy's time at Evernham Motorsports is short - if not over. Since he wrecked at Indy last week and fell out of the top 35, he had to qualify on time for the AMD at The Glen. So Evernham replaced him with Bill Elliot. Ironically, Evernham screwed up his entry and didn't place the former champion's name on the list early enough, so his championship provisional is void. If he doesn't qualify, expect Evernham to be the laughing stock of the garage this weekend. He hasn't exactly handled the situation with much class - but then again, neither has Mayfield by publicly criticizing his boss. In fact, that's a pattern of his (remember Penske...). So this weekend could go downhill quickly. Maybe Ray should just promote Erin Crocker and be done with this already.

Unlike previous years, the weather is expected to be perfect in upstate New York, so the fear of rain washing out qualifying or any of the races is gone. Enjoy!

NASCAR - Jimmy Conquers Indy

I'm still not sure how to feel about Sunday's Brickyard 400 (yeah, I know the "real" name, but leave me alone. That insurance company isn't paying me anything to promote them). The race at the Brickyard has achieved grand status in NASCAR as the second-greatest race of the year behind the Daytona 500. For some reason, though, I just can't buy into it. The hype seems almost manufactured. No matter what happens at that track, the Indy 500 is *the* race for me. It almost seems too big for stock cars. To make matters worse, the coverage from NBC/TNT just plain sucks.

What may have ruined the race for me, personally, is when Boris Said got punted by Reed Sorenson. Sorenson is on my shit list now. I hope Boris puts that kid in the gravel trap at The Glen next week - twice. :-)

Anyway, it was exciting to see Jeff Burton out front and be so "dominant" for the first half of the race. But, I knew it was a matter of time before something happened and he faded. Sure enough, something broke on his car and he finished a disappointing 15th! Seems to be a pattern with Burton. He's got some bad kharma going on. This seems to happen to him every other race. I hope that changes, because Burton's a class act on and off the track. Besides, it would be nice to see some different people winning who haven't won in a long time.

So, Jimmy Johnson wins another one. This makes no sense, but he kinda irritates me. I was never able to put my finger on why until it was mentioned on the TV broadcast that people tell him he sounds too "corporate" when interviewed on TV. That's it. He sounds SO overcoached (like Kurt Busch, *gag*!) and comes across as an arrogant stiff. I'm sure he's not that way and apparently he's getting good reviews on his XM show (which I'll never hear because I'm a Sirius junkie). That and he wins SO much that after a while I'm saying to myself "Can Jimmy just NOT be a factor for once???" He's obviously a great driver and has a top-flight team. But, damn, dominance is boring sometimes!

Finally, a note about TNT/NBC's broadcast. I usually thought that some of the criticism directed towards both the broadcast crews and networks were a bit over the top (i.e. too many commercials, etc.). After yesterday's telecast, I am now firmly in the critic camp of the TNT/NBC team. The commentators are great - except Bill Webber. My god, Bill, STOP, just STOp with the over-dramatic bullshit already!!! Why do we need to hear a sob-story history lesson about what Hendrick Motorsports went through two years ago? Is it really neceessary to wax poetic about Johnson, his accomplishments, his "lows," the people who died in that plane crash, Jimmy's cat Fluffy dying when he was 10 years old, ad nauseum? Last time I checked, bro, there was a race with 40 cars going on and the camera is stuck on Jimmy Johnson while you bore the audience to tears. /rant

Oh, and to the booth people at TNT/NBC, just how many accidents CAN you guys miss? My god. It took you nearly 10 seconds to give us a camera shot of the wrecks that happened on the last lap. Maybe you guys were all teary-eyed from Bill Webber's speech or something. Wake up. You missed almost every wreck yesterday.

Finally, that hit Kasey Khane had was probably the most brutal I've ever seen in stock car racing and I cannot believe he walked away from that. He went from 190 mph to 0 in a flash. Ouch.

Misc. notes:

• I hope Carl Edwards lays the smackdown on Tony Stewart once and for all.
  
• Jeremy Mayfield may be going to Bill Davis racing. Uh, Jeremy, I thought you were tired of having a crappy ride? What the hell do you think you'll get at BDR that's better than what you have now? Take a look at how well Michael Waltrip did this weekend...
  
• Mark Martin is probably coming back for farewell tour #3 next year! Awesome!
  
• Note to asshole fans who throw things on the track: next time, be a man and confront the winning driver face to face instead of being a giant pussy and throwing your warm beer on the track. What the hell is wrong with you people??
  

F1 - Singing in the rain

I usually despise rain when it comes to racing. It slows down the action, or, depending on the series, cancels races altogether (see: shortened Grand Am series race at Barber this weekend...). But one series I actually don't mind seeing rain is F1 because that little bit of water equalizes what is usually a completely out-of-parity series. Hence, the heavy rains is why the Hungarian Grand Prix this weekend was probably one of the best F1 races in recent memory.

The weekend started out in "high drama" because the stewards spanked both Alonso and Michael Schumacher for being stupid during practice and qualifying. Alonso, while the youngest F1 champion ever, tends to act like an immature brat when he thinks other drivers should bow to him on the track. He loves to wave his hand at people as he passes them with an "I'm the world champion, move out of my way when I say to!" attitude. Well, he attempted to run Friday driver Robert Doornbos off the track and then brake-checked him in the first corner and he suffered a two-second qualifying penalty which put him back with the "scrubs" of F1. Not to be outdone, Michael passes a bunch of cars under yellow and received the same penalty.

Anyway, long story short, drivers pushing their cars too hard or electing to use slicks on a wet track (hello, Scott Speed!), a crazy accident that destroyed Kimi Raikkonen's car, bizarre mechanical failures that led to both championship-eligible drivers with zero points for the day and England's Jenson Button with his first-ever win. Sweet! How refreshing to see someone new on the podium! Two people, in fact, as Pedro de la Rosa scored his first F1 podium finish. Congrats to both drivers. Now, maybe critics will get of Button's back for never winning a race. Maybe. Anyway, Sunday's race was definitely one to remember and the most exciting race since at least 2002.

On a side note, it looks like former F1 champion Jacques Villeneuve's career in F1 is done. He was released by BMW Sauber today in favor of newcomer Robert Kubica, the first Polish F1 driver. That news comes as a shocker to.....absolutely no one.

NASCAR - Leave "The Chase" Alone!

After one of the more boring drivers on the circuit, Matt Kenseth, won the Nextel Cup a few years ago, NASCAR decided the 50 million fans needed more excitement at the end of the season. Much to Jimmie Johnson's chagrin, The Chase to the Nextel Cup was invented. It worked well the first year, with Kurt Busch winning the championship fair and square. Yet, much to the horror of sponsors and marketing dorks within NASCAR, the sport's two top stars missed the cut last year: Dale Jr. and Stiff Gordon.

Now, we have people saying the format needs to be changed. Huh?? What exactly is wrong with rewarding the top 10 drivers/teams who've been consistent all season long? I'm not sure. What pisses me off about this discussion is that certain people involved in NASCAR (and many NOT directly involved) think the "stars" (i.e. most marketable sponsor whores) absolutely have to be in the hunt for a championship. Well, if Mr. Gordon hasn't been consistent and has won but one race this season and Mr. Tony Stewart can't stop acting like a 3-year-old and wrecks himself out of the Chase, then why should the format be changed to include them? Last time I checked, there were 43 teams racing every weekend. And just because some of them aren't polished, compelling or charismatic people doesn't mean they should be pushed aside by someone shilling for Home Depot or Budweiser.

Maybe Major League Baseball should change its playoff format to make sure the Yankees make the playoffs every year. Maybe the NFL should rig its playoff system to make sure the Cowboys get in every year (something I'd be all for actually...) because that's what people want to see. Let's toss out the genuine reward system that has been part of all competitive sports' DNA since the beginning of time. Let's make a rule that says if Sterling Marlin makes the Chase, he's automatically substituted for Jeff Gordon. Or if Ward Burton gets a ride and makes it into the The Chase, he has to give up his spot for Junior. That sounds fair and will make everyone happy, right? Yeah....

NASCAR - Jeff Gordon is the Al Gore of NASCAR

There's a (hopefully) hilarious NASCAR parody movie coming out tomorrow. I'm guessing you've already heard about it and have seen the 400 commercials promoting it - Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby. Will Ferrell is one of my favorite comedic actors, as he's starred in some gems: Old School, Wedding Crashers, etc. He plays a NASCAR driver who loses his mind after an accident and when a French driver comes into the series and taunts him.

Given that NASCAR's roots are southern, there's plenty to poke fun at. Hey, we all need to laugh at ourselves every once in a while and not take life so seriously. That's why jokes like "I'm a driver's wife - I DON'T WORK!" are, to me, hilarious. So, what does four-time champion Jeff Gordon have to say about actually turning DOWN a role in the movie? According to Fox Sports, the jokes were a little too much for him. What a farkin' pansy.

"For Gordon, the four-time series champion who runs a close second to Earnhardt in popularity, the industrywide inside jokes were a little too close to comfort for the driver and his sponsors."

"I think it prevented me from being a part of the movie," Gordon said. "We presented it to DuPont and our other sponsors talked about it, and although I think the movie is going to be hilarious - and I don't mind laughing at things within our sport - it wasn't the type of movie that I could have been part of.

"I would have liked to, but after seeing the script, there were some moments in there that I questioned because of the type of image I like to put out for myself and DuPont and our sponsors."

Are you kidding me?? Some asshole at DuPont is going to pull your sponsorship because of some parody rated PG-13? Jeff, you need to get over yourself. This isn't some cheap porno flick. I realize you have a new lady in your life to support and all, but lighten up, man. What is Mr. DuPont going to do? Yell at you and say you were a bad boy? Is Mr. Pepsi Cola going to tell Hendrick Motorsports to fire you? Dude, you already come across as stiff as a piece of plywood. This would have been a great time to erase that image, but you just reinforced it!

I hope Jeff has DNF this weekend at Indy because he's such a stiffy.